Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
