Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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