I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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