Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
