very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And then he peed in my hair
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