youre lurking in front of me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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