I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
