Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
