ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
