I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
