i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
