At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I have aggressive nipples.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
