I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize