sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
this boner is exhausting
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
