Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
