his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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