I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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