You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
