party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
