Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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