and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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