im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
