On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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