You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize