She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
