the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize