So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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