WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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