did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
