Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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