I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
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Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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