I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
