when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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