nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
