Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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