i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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