Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
