Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
