I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Enjoy the penises
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
