If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
zippers are such a cool invention
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
