I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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