i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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