Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize