Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
