He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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