i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
