Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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