what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
