No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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