My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
vagina is talking i cant
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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