grandma shit on top of the toilet
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
