hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize