You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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