i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
