butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
