We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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