Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
