Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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