dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
